If you’ve been alive in the last 10-15 years, the gospel of positivity has knocked at your door, especially if you’re living in the 1st-world. People have made crazy money at promoting a message of optimism and positive thinking and virtually turned it into another religion, which the world has way too many already.
Don’t call me Debbie Downer just yet.
I’m a product of incredible personal transformation due to cleaning up my thinking and learning to identify which voice I’m listening to: fear or love. I’m actually a believer in being in-tune with what’s rolling around in your mind and making strides to keep it covered in love, openness and good vibes. Where things start to go downhill and turn into a pile of crap is when positive thinking evolves into something reminiscent of magic or superstition or a mystical mental potion.
We’ve all seen and heard it.
You’re having a crappy day and “that” friend enters your conversation telling you that you just need to start thinking happy thoughts, positive thoughts and everything will work itself out and leave the interaction feeling more pissed, more hopeless and in despair. You feel this unspoken pressure to slap a yellow smiley face on your mental state or problem, instead of actually dealing with it. In my experience, this can quickly lead to false hope, a level of delusion and even denial… and that’s not very positive.
Maybe that works for you… and if it does, wonderful. But, if you’re like me, positivity only goes so far. Let’s talk about the things that actually force the mind into a healthy way of thinking.
Sadness Is Not Negative
Let’s begin by clearing something up. Being sad, experiencing depressive emotions and feeling anxious at times is part of being human. Obviously, when any of those emotions take over the majority of our human experience, we need to have a different conversation.
Why is there a judgement in society that if you're not happy, something must be wrong?
There are things in life that make you sad. Losing a friend, waking up the morning after an incredible vacation or getting into a fight with your spouse will cause your heart to feel disappointed and unhappy.
That’s ok. That’s normal…. just don’t hang out there for too long.
In many real life experiences, the most healthy thing to do is to accept what has come your way in life. Fully allow it. Give it 100% permission and don’t try to ignore it or push it away. As soon as you accept your situation for what it is at face value, then you can find ways to work it out — to discovery solutions.
I’m sorry but no matter how many positive messages you try to shove down your mental throat, until you come to terms with whatever has transpired in life, you’ll just choke. The most positive thought you can think in the midst of sadness is, “this difficulty has come to teach me something… it’s come to serve me.”
Positive denial is another effective way I’ve found to overcome times of depression and worry. Positive denial doesn’t deny reality. Instead, it denies that what’s happening in my life is not ultimate reality. When I recognize that whatever is happening is temporary, I can then begin to loosen my tight grip of attaching to this mortal, earthy experience.
Recognizing that there is a power at work in all the universe that is for me, always working on my behalf to create situations for the greatest good of all involved, I can let go a little more. I can breathe a little deeper. I can trust. I don’t have to frantically try to control and manipulate my current reality. Rather, I take a deep breath and go below the surface of my thinking. I enter into a space of ultimate reality, where there is a steady stream of love, peace and eternal beauty.
Positive denial fully receives and sees exactly what’s happening in the realm of form, without placing complete trust in it. It’s the recognition that the world outside my mind are like the waves of the sea, ever changing but not the realest reality. True reality exists deep within the seat of my soul.
Nothing can cause a sudden shift from negativity to an open and spacious mind like participating in positive action. Of course, positive thinking can lead you to action but not always. When you choose to go out into the world and be about the good of others, an instant purification of the mind ensues. Suddenly, you begin to see light peering through the dark clouds of your soul. You begin to taste of something so good that you want to keep at it.
I’m completely serious. The next time you feel depressed, heavy or in a real negative space, go do something positive. If you’re an animal lover, go hand out at your local animal shelter. If you have some extra money, go buy groceries for a stranger. If you haven’t told those closest to you that you love them in a while, pick up your phone and start sending authentic love texts.
Sometimes just sitting around thinking positive thoughts isn’t enough. Sometimes it takes forcing your body to participate in right action to receive a flood of positive energy.
Hope this helps… let me know by leaving a comment below and sharing this with your friends.